If we were having coffee…

coffeepost

If we were having coffee…

We would talk a little bit about submission, specifically how we as wives can submit to our husbands. Yes, I know it’s a touchy topic. I am aware of the feminist movement going on. I get that women don’t want to submit and girls run the world and sexual objectification and blah blah. Trust me. I know. I read news articles, other bloggers’ views, and watch videos on current events. Do those things matter? Yes, absolutely. But I’m asking you to stick with me. Just for a minute.

Does that word submit or submission sting a bit? Jerk you the wrong way? Make you cringe? Why is that? It’s because submission, in our world, means that we are beneath, less than, inferior, subordinate than said something or someone. And our pride doesn’t take too kindly to that.

But I want to encourage you to read this small passage from a book I recently read. I had to reread this passage over and over again to simply wrap my mind around the ground-breaking truth it presents.

“The redeemed helper values male and female distinctiveness because she knows that this is God’s design and order. She is not threatened by male headship. She knows that submission has nothing to do with status. Submission has to do with function. It is the way God has ordered life in the kingdom, and it is good because He is good.”
– Biblical Womanhood in the Home edited by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

First off, wow! And secondly, I think we need to break down this passage a bit. Because even though it’s only a few sentences, it’s saying quite a bit.

Let’s start with the first and last sentences. “The redeemed helper values male and female distinctiveness because she knows that this is God’s design and order….It is the way God has ordered life in the kingdom, and it is good because He is good.” The redeemed helper is the wife. She is called to be a helper to her husband (Genesis 2:18). God made the husband-wife relationship this way (Ephesians 5:22-24). A woman of God understands this and knows that it is good because He is good (Psalm 119:68, Psalm 145:9, Psalm 107:1, Matthew 19:16-17).

The middle sentences are really the meat of this piece. “She is not threatened by male headship. She knows that submission has nothing to do with status. Submission has to do with function.” This is my favorite part of the passage. A redeemed helper does not feel intimidated by her husband leading. She does not cower in fear or turn off her brain to simply agree with everything her husband says. Rather, she is confident in her security in Christ and understands her role as a wife and helper. And being a helper does not put her below her husband (Genesis 1:27). I want you to reread that sentence: And being a helper does not put her below her husband. Profound, isn’t it? The leading and helping roles are not below or above each other. They are equal, but different. Submitting to each other (not from fear, but from love – Ephesians 5:21) is a beautiful image of God’s love for us. And it usually exposes parts of our heart that need some work.

A little further down the same page comes another quote that I absolutely love, and I feel the need to share it with you. Applying this concept in our marriages can create so much peace and rest in our homes. I even put it on a sticky note above my sink. 😉

“The redeemed helper knows that submission does not restrict her – it actually frees her to fulfill her helper design.
Biblical Womanhood in the Home edited by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Hallelujah! Praise Jesus! It’s about time someone said it!

She knows that submission does not restrict her, but actually frees her to fulfill her calling to help her husband lead their family. In first submitting to God, and then submitting to her husband. When we women realize that our role is to be a helper to our husbands so that they can lead our families closer to God, we ourselves will find freedom and rest.

This article by John Piper going over some basic points on what submission is not is helpful. This one by Christina Fox analyzes Scripture on the submission role is essential to understand. Oh, and this one by Steven J. Cole is a longy but a goody. 🙂

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